Vegan cookies for Ralph Wiggum

Are you familiar with the “I Love Lisa” episode of The Simpsons?  If not, here’s a brief synopsis: Lisa Simpson’s second-grade class exchanges Valentine cards, and her socially awkward classmate Ralph doesn’t receive a single one.  She takes pity on him and gives him a card that says “I choo-choo-choose you,” which unfortunately gives him false hope regarding their romantic future.  It’s always been one of my favorite episodes, and the “choo-choo-choose you” greeting kept running through my head today as I was creating this recipe for CHai-CHocolate heart-shaped cookies.

This was also my first attempt at vegan baking–no animals were harmed (or even subjected to temporary discomfort) in the making of these cookies!  I think Lisa Simpson, animal-rights crusader that she is, would be very happy about that.  Give these a try–they taste all warm and cozy and would be the perfect gift for the Ralph Wiggum in your life.

“I Choo-choo-choose You” Chai-Chocolate Cookies (makes approximately 2 dozen)

  • 1/2 c. vegan margarine, room temperature (I used Earth Balance)
  • 1 c. sugar
  • 2 flax “eggs” (mix 2 tbsp ground flax with 6 tbsp water, stir, and let sit for 5-10 minutes)
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 1/4 c. flour (plus some extra for rolling out the dough)
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 c. cocoa powder
  • 2 chai tea bags (mine were 2.5 grams each)


  • 3/4 c. confectioner’s sugar
  • 1/8 tsp cinnamon
  • pinch of ground cloves
  • 2 tbsp almond milk

Cream the margarine and sugar until light and fluffy.  Add the flax “eggs” and vanilla extract and mix well.  Then add the dry ingredients and mix until incorporated.  Chill the dough for at least 1 hour, and then roll it out on a floured surface to approximately 1/4″ thick.  Cut out cookies (preferably heart-shaped), place them on a greased baking sheet, and bake at 350 for 8-10 minutes.

While the cookies are cooling, whisk together the glaze ingredients.  It should be a good consistency for drizzling–if it’s too thick, add more almond milk.  If it’s too thin, add more confectioner’s sugar.  When the cookies are completely cool, drizzle them with the glaze and enjoy!


5 responses to “Vegan cookies for Ralph Wiggum

  1. These cookies are sabotage and subterfuge! Darcy you really are sublime.

  2. –A prize winner for sure!

  3. i can pretty much see Lisa Simpson swooning over these cookies, and i wouldnt mind sharing some with her and YOU 🙂 hehe ❤

  4. Such cute-looking Valentine’s cookies! Love it!

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